Selfishness, Sustainability, and Wedding Planning Pt. 1

Observations from a future bride and Noble Native founder.

Over the years my feelings about weddings have been all over the map.  As a child, my dream wedding would have been fit for royalty, complete with birds to help carry my mile long dress train.  However, somewhere between puberty and my mid 30's, everything changed.

Someone once told me that people make major personality changes every ten years, something most observable in the first 40.  Obviously you would hope that you would change for the better during those years, and heaven only knows that at age 16, I hoped to become the poised and intelligent woman that I am now (only one of those things is actually true).  However, with my personal evolution, my hopes and dreams for the future also changed.

Without delving too much into the super serious, my fiance is hands-down my favorite human, and I feel incredibly lucky to have him become part of my life story.  Meeting him was a total game-changer for me, and in an ironic way, he gave me the support I needed to become the selfish person that I am now.  Yes, you read that right, I said selfish.

I'm about to drop some heavy opinions, so hold onto your socks.

We all need to embrace the idea of being a little selfish, because we already are.  We make selfish choices every second of every day, but in the moments and situations which we NEED to be selfish, our culture has programmed us (insert an intense religious and/or gender role discussion here) to think twice, often to act contrary to our gut instincts when we need them the most.

My life story is littered with tiny little instances in which self imposed responsibility and sacrifice, ultimately resulted in little to no benefit to anyone else, but slowly grew into a guilt load so heavy, that I was having panic attacks in my late 20's under their combined weight.

There's a lot to unpack in that statement, but for the purposes of this post, I want to focus on how it applies to marrying the best guy ever (sorry to all you other single ladies out there), and planning a dream wedding as an adult.

Selfishness and my fiance, the perfect segway to talk about my wedding plans.  Seriously though, if you find a partner that loves you so perfectly, that you're able to selfishly re-direct all the emotional energy that you previously invested into other people happy, it's amazing how much you can change as a person, and in doing so, discover new dreams and goals to chase down!  After all, the fun is in the chase, and my fiance loves to run with me;)

So what's a dream wedding for a mid-30's adult that's still paying off student loans, is still in the losing sleep phase of trying to start my own small business while maintaining a full-time job, is desperately trying to lessen my environmental footprint, is worrying about things like the shifting elevation of my rear-end, but also worries about international trade relations and governmental healthcare policy?  I'm beginning to think that I'm gonna need the help of a lot of little birds.

Seriously though, getting married in my 30's is the best time of my life that it could be happening, and just adds to my ever growing list of reasons that I have to laugh at my 20 something self about being fearful of this age, but that's another topic ;)

When my fiance and I got engaged last year, we were just shy of having dated for five years.  In that amount of time, we tackled many of the things that couples who marry more quickly, must work through without the benefit of an escape hatch, and were able to move onto the business of being able to experience new things together as a couple, since all of the pesky (how do we handle holidays with our families) housekeeping details were already settled.

"Experience" is the central theme of our relationship, and despite our vastly different backgrounds, we both agree that there's no excuse or substitution for experiences, and that when you stop experiencing new things, it should be because you're dead.  Here's where our wedding planning journey begins.

See pt. 2 for more of the story.